10 Random Thoughts
1. My favorite quote
My favorite quote is from Mike Tyson, believe it or not. "I'll fuck you till you love me." Now don't dismiss it as just some bad pick up line. Think about it for a minute. First of all, its kind of erotic. I'm going to fuck you so good that by the end of it you won't just love fucking me, you'll fall in love with me. Second of all, here's this barbaric, angry, confused man yelling at a bunch of reporters, "I'll fuck you till you love me." When you get past his anger and vulgarity, what he's essentially saying is that he just wants to be loved. What's more romantic than that?
2. Socks
I once knew a guy that never wore the same pair of socks twice. He would constantly buy new white crew socks. He loved how a new pair of socks felt. I thought he was crazy. The other day I bought some new socks myself. I put on a pair and was reminded of how nice and comfy they make your feet feel. Yes, I said the word comfy. I thought, maybe he's on to something. If you start every day with your feet happy, maybe the rest of you just follows.
3. Snoring
Why is that people who snore don't believe you when you tell them they snore? Why would I lie about that and how can they know they don't?
4. Chalant
How come no one ever uses the word chalant? You hear nonchalant said but never chalant. "Mam, your son was just in a car accident. Are you concerned?" "Yes, I am feeling very chalant about the whole thing."
5. Tattoos
I don't get the fascination with tattoos. I'm not against anyone getting a tattoo but I could never get one. I can't imagine there being anything I'd want to put on my body that I wouldn't be bored of in about 5 hours. I can't even wear a hat because then I know I have to wear it all day because my hair will be messed up. That's just a one day commitment and I'm out, let alone a lifetime commitment that a tattoo brings.
6. Personalized plates
I don't get the fascination with those either. See above for some of the same reasons. Also, I'm against anything that makes my plates easier for the cops to read. When I'm driving home drunk at 3am on a Tuesday night (yes Tuesday night, I have a problem) the last thing I want is the cops to be drawn to my YGR4EVA vanity plates.
7. Pineapple
Pineapple is the most underrated fruit ever. Think about it, its wonderful on its own, its great on pizza, its great with chicken and it has its own cake, Pineapple Upside Down Cake. Take that strawberries!
8. Topless hair salons
They would kick ass. That's all.
9. Shorts
I hate it when its an abnormally warm day but still not actually warm, think 55 in February, and there's some idiot wearing shorts. Everyone else is enjoying the fact that their not cold for the first time in 4 months while this moron has managed to wear an outfit that ensures, on the warmest day in months, he's still cold.
10. Life
I think life is simple but people are complicated. You love someone worth loving who loves you back. You surround yourself with friends who are true friends. You work at a job that challenges and drives you and satisfies you. You live in a home that feels like home. You do all these things and you are the happiest person alive. Its not complicated yet its so hard to accomplish. Good luck to all.
My favorite quote is from Mike Tyson, believe it or not. "I'll fuck you till you love me." Now don't dismiss it as just some bad pick up line. Think about it for a minute. First of all, its kind of erotic. I'm going to fuck you so good that by the end of it you won't just love fucking me, you'll fall in love with me. Second of all, here's this barbaric, angry, confused man yelling at a bunch of reporters, "I'll fuck you till you love me." When you get past his anger and vulgarity, what he's essentially saying is that he just wants to be loved. What's more romantic than that?
2. Socks
I once knew a guy that never wore the same pair of socks twice. He would constantly buy new white crew socks. He loved how a new pair of socks felt. I thought he was crazy. The other day I bought some new socks myself. I put on a pair and was reminded of how nice and comfy they make your feet feel. Yes, I said the word comfy. I thought, maybe he's on to something. If you start every day with your feet happy, maybe the rest of you just follows.
3. Snoring
Why is that people who snore don't believe you when you tell them they snore? Why would I lie about that and how can they know they don't?
4. Chalant
How come no one ever uses the word chalant? You hear nonchalant said but never chalant. "Mam, your son was just in a car accident. Are you concerned?" "Yes, I am feeling very chalant about the whole thing."
5. Tattoos
I don't get the fascination with tattoos. I'm not against anyone getting a tattoo but I could never get one. I can't imagine there being anything I'd want to put on my body that I wouldn't be bored of in about 5 hours. I can't even wear a hat because then I know I have to wear it all day because my hair will be messed up. That's just a one day commitment and I'm out, let alone a lifetime commitment that a tattoo brings.
6. Personalized plates
I don't get the fascination with those either. See above for some of the same reasons. Also, I'm against anything that makes my plates easier for the cops to read. When I'm driving home drunk at 3am on a Tuesday night (yes Tuesday night, I have a problem) the last thing I want is the cops to be drawn to my YGR4EVA vanity plates.
7. Pineapple
Pineapple is the most underrated fruit ever. Think about it, its wonderful on its own, its great on pizza, its great with chicken and it has its own cake, Pineapple Upside Down Cake. Take that strawberries!
8. Topless hair salons
They would kick ass. That's all.
9. Shorts
I hate it when its an abnormally warm day but still not actually warm, think 55 in February, and there's some idiot wearing shorts. Everyone else is enjoying the fact that their not cold for the first time in 4 months while this moron has managed to wear an outfit that ensures, on the warmest day in months, he's still cold.
10. Life
I think life is simple but people are complicated. You love someone worth loving who loves you back. You surround yourself with friends who are true friends. You work at a job that challenges and drives you and satisfies you. You live in a home that feels like home. You do all these things and you are the happiest person alive. Its not complicated yet its so hard to accomplish. Good luck to all.
posted by Rob Maher at 10:24 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home