The Small Penis Theory

Fellas, always tell a girl you have a small penis. Whether your packing 4 inches or 12 inches, always say you have a small one. There are several reasons for this. First of all, if you tell a girl your huge down there she probably won’t believe you. She figures every guy says that. Its in one ear and out the other. But by saying your small, this peaks her interest because no guy claims that. Now she’s wondering about your penis. She’s asking herself questions. “Why would he say he has a small penis? Does he really have a small penis? Maybe he has a huge penis and he’s just saying it’s small. Maybe it is small but he just has enough confidence in himself that he doesn’t care that it’s small. Maybe he thinks its small but it’s really average.” Now she’s got your penis on your mind and that’s a good thing. She’s curious about your penis. This doesn’t mean she’s going to do you just to find out but it does help your chances, which brings us to the best part of this little theory.

Let’s say you do end up hooking up with this girl who you’ve told you’re small. Whether you are in actuality small, medium or large down there, you end up like a champ regardless. Lets say you’re a little on the small side. You go to have sex and she sees that you are in fact lacking. She’s now saying to herself, “Oh my God he is small. He wasn’t lying. He was completely honest with me. Honesty is sexy. I love a guy who’s honest. He was upfront with me the whole time. No games, no bullshit. And he had the confidence to admit he had a small penis. He didn’t care that I knew that for he knows he has so much more to offer. That’s so sexy. I’m going to go and fuck the shit out of this small penis.” Brilliant. Score one for the small guy.

Let’s say your Johnny average. She’s expecting a small penis but when she sees your Mr. Medium she’s pleasantly surprised. It’s always a good thing whenever you end up being larger than what the girl expects. She sees it and she’s like, “ He’s not small at all. There’s nothing wrong with his penis. It’s a perfectly respectable penis. I bet some dumb bitch of an ex girlfriend told this poor guy he was tiny and he’s had to live his whole life thinking that. Poor guy. Women can be so cruel sometimes. All this guy needs is a little confidence. I bet I can get him to come out of his shell. I’m going to go and fuck the shit out of this medium penis.” Brilliant. Score one for the average guy.

Let’s say your packing some extra down there. She’s going to see it and be all, “ Wow, its fucking huge! This guy was just messing with me the whole time. He knew he was hung. He’s got the confidence to say he’s small because he knows what he’s really got. That’s hot. He so surprised me. I love surprises. This guy keeps me on my toes. I don’t know what he’s going to do next. It’s an adventure being with him. I’m going to go and fuck the shit out of this giant penis.” Brilliant. Score one for Mr.Big.

So ladies, for the record, I have an incredibly small penis. I’m hung like a seahorse. Call me.