Black Girls are the New Puppy

Black girls are the new puppy. That is a quote from the great African-American Poet/Author Maya Angelou. Actually it's a quote from my friend Dawn who does happen to be black and quite poetic. She also happens to be right, black girls are the new puppy. Let's explain the puppy part first. A puppy is a chick magnet for a guy. If you are seen walking some adorable puppy, women will flock to you. You walking, loving, taking care of a cute, adorable puppy scores you major points. You are now sensitive. You are now seen as capable of love. You are now everything you probably aren't but girls get caught up in the bullshit hence you're in there. You don't need a first move or an opening line when you have some puppy by your side. The puppy is your first move. It is your opening line. Having a dog allows you to be a dog. Dogs are a mans best friend for a reason.

This brings us to the black girl part. If you are a white guy and you walk into a club/bar/party with a black girl, you are gold baby. You get every positive black guy stereotype placed on you plus every great white guy stereotype placed on you. You are superman. You can dance, have a big penis, have a great job and great credit to. And most importantly, you are now seen as confident. Confidence is sexy to a girl and black guys have the confident thing down. Whether it's an act or if it's the real thing doesnt matter. A black guy in a club is one confident seeming motherfucker. A black guy will walk up to any and every fine girl, black, white, it doesn't matter and can get shut down completely by that girl and not be fazed at all. Oh well, it's on to the next girl. A white guy gets shut down once in a night and we are done! Shot down in a blaze of awkward. Our egos can't handle rejection. Our dicks get smaller after a luke warm yes. We are Pussies!!!!! But when you walk into that club/bar/party with a black girl, perception changes. You are no longer that typical, no confidence, small dick white guy. You are now insert any white guy name X. You are now Chad X or Kyle X or Brandon X. Your shit is right and you get what you want by any means necessary. You have been given the black girl stamp of approval. You are in baby! Say it loud, you're black approved and you're proud!

But fellas, you cant have the black girl you came in with be all over you. That will scare the white girls off for we all know white girls are afraid of black girls. It will also piss off the black guys fo sho. Now you got a room full of white girls who wont even look at you and a room full of black guys who are not really feeling the whole cant we all just along vibe. At that point your best bet is to be the gay friend. So in order to save your ass you gotta be the gay guy. That was funny. Now laugh. The point is, you need your sista to take on the wingman role. My girl Dawn has got this shit down. She's a closer. You can be Maverick and she'll be Iceman. Go to her page now and ask, no beg for her services, http://www.myspace.com/dawndeedawn Read her blogs while you're at it. She's quite the girl. You'll be smitten in no time.

So to my white brethren, go find yourself an accommodating, willing black girl and get to work. Walk into the club with her by your side. Have some pics of your's or someone's adorable puppy on your cell and watch the women flock. How Kyle Got His Groove Back coming soon to a club near you.