Hack To The Future

It never ceases to amaze me the jokes some comics tell. More specifically, the outdated jokes they tell. I was at this show the other night at this new club in Baltimore, Rascals. The show was essentially an audition to work the room. We were told to do our best 6 minutes. I guess not every comic heard that part. This guy I never heard of goes up, we’ll call him Hack To Be Named Later, starts his set by saying he just moved to Baltimore two months ago because he got a role on Homicide. In case you’re not familiar, Homicide was a TV show on NBC that took place and was shot in Baltimore. There are a few things wrong with this “comics” claim that he moved here recently to be on the show. First thing, Homicide has been off the air since 1999! If you moved here to be on Homicide you might want to find a new agent. Second thing, you never had role on the show. Homicide routinely hired extras for the show and maybe you were one of the 1,000 that scored that sweet 6 bucks an hour for 4 hours gig in the dead of winter but you never had a role. A role means you’re character has a name and I don’t know, maybe, lines!!!! Third thing, if you’re going to lie, why not just say you moved here because you got a role on The Wire. The Wire is a show, like Homicide, that takes place and shoots in Baltimore, hires a lot of extras but unlike Homicide, its still on the fucking air!!!! Not only is it on the air but they were actually shooting two months ago. Making your lie current and almost believable couldn’t have been any easier yet you still failed to do it. Pathetic. I tried to talk to him after the show and ask him if he knew anyone that could help me get a role on Hill Street Blues but unfortunately he had left already.

That brings us to Count Hackula. This guy goes on stage and does the most outdated, ridiculous book joke I’ve ever heard. Ready? Did you hear that magician David Copperfield has Aids? He got it from doing too much Magic. Get it? A fucking Magic Johnson Aids joke! 9th grade called, they want their joke back. Come on Haq Diesel, at least say David Blaine. We are essentially on a job interview and this guy does a 15 year old book joke. You might as well show up at a real job interview and brag about how familiar you are with Windows 95. The real tragedy here is that the joke killed. The lowest common denominator always works. Welcome to the profession I’ve chosen.